Someday
by MiSSPAPERSCiSSORS
Summary: Revan's journey after the Leviathan, and her attempts to deal with the knowledge of who she really is. Her tries to earn forgiveness from her friends, and then she follows her past to places better left unknown while her friends search endlessly for her.
1. Hardships

**Someday**

**Chapter One – Hardships**

_Authors Note: This is the first fanfiction I've written in probably about two years. I've been dying to work on this idea for a long time, but at the time I was too focused on other things. So, it's time to begin it. Please feel free to comment and let me know what you think about it, constructive criticism is appreciated, though try not to flame me. Thank you. _

Sleep was officially impossible. It had been four hours since the rest of the ship had fallen into an easy slumber, but the woman who lay upon her bed was completely positive that she would be the only one unable to fall into the same restless doze the rest of the crew had managed. Their worries radiated off of them, and to be quite honest, she far from blamed any of them. There was the possibility she could snap, become the kind of person they had been fighting to find and stop since their adventure began. Her wildest fears had been realized, and now she wasn't exactly sure what to do with herself.

With her eyes closed, she pressed her lips into a thin line as she fought the tears that threatened to fall. How could everything be ruined so quickly? It's not as if life had been easy since she had learned she had the ability to become a Jedi, or that she really wanted half of the trouble she had been put into. She wanted a normal smuggler's life, the life she had had before. The life where she could drink Juma Juice and do what she pleased, anything that could bring her the kind of cash she was always hungering after. The life that had officially been thrust upon her was far from what she dreamed.

Now, Carth wasn't speaking with her, and the rest of the crew looked at her as if she was going to snap at any moment. Was she, though? There was the strict possibility that she could go over the edge, and with her abilities, she would potentially be unstoppable. She could hurt them, and she knew that. She was strong and the knowledge that her strength spewed from something so unreal terrified her, now more than ever.

What was going to happen now? Would the mission carry on, even though she knew of this dark secret that the council, that Bastila _herself_, hid from her for the longest time? There was really no other choice, to be quite frank. Life had to continue, even if it felt like her heart was being peeled from her chest. She ached for normality, for anything but this. Life had to continue, and she didn't have a choice but to let it.

But how could anybody get over the knowledge that they were once one of the most powerful Sith Lords in the universe? How could somebody deal with the fact that they had taken more lives than could be counted?

With her own arms wrapped around her, a stifled sob slipped through her lips. As those dastardly tears tumbled down her cheeks, she pondered what was to come next. More than that, she imagined the outcome. She would be shunned from society when they learned the truth. If her own crew, her _friends_, rejected her this badly, then the rest of them were a lost cause. People she didn't even know would hate her before they learned who she really was.

A cry pierced her room, and Revan immediately leapt from the bunk she was resting upon. She searched for a moment, at last realizing who had made the sound. Mission Vao, a small Twi'lek girl, was lying on her bed, her body curled up in a ball, and tears pouring down her cheeks. This was the one member of the crew who Revan felt particularly defensive over, whether it be her age or her stature. Revan knew that most of the crew felt the same about the girl. "Mission?" Revan asked, keeping a safe distance lest another member of the crew come barging in and think _she_ was the reason for Mission's cry.

Mission's body jolted upright, and Revan was surprised she didn't smack her head off the bunk up top. The two females stared at each other for a moment, before Mission's head dropped down onto her propped knees and she sobbed. Revan stared at her, her desire to reach out and hold the girl expanding, but she couldn't bring herself to touch her. "What happened?" she whispered, instead.

Mission's eyes didn't find themselves moving anywhere but her knees as she spoke, her voice muffled from the blanket covering her knees. "I had a nightmare... You were…" Another sob, and Revan immediately felt sick to her stomach. The reason for the pain in the girl's voice was caused by Revan's own actions. Actions that she, herself, didn't even remember. Mission continued, "You were wearing the robes… The lightsaber. You looked at me… I tried to ask you why and…" she sobbed again as Revan shuffled away from her. "The way you looked at me…"

Revan was going to vomit, she was certain of that now. She felt completely ill. "Are you alright, now?" she asked, quietly. Mission's sobs were slowing, and her sniffling was decreasing. That had to be a good sign. Mission's eyes moved towards Revan, her eyes bloodshot from crying. "I know that wasn't you, I could tell. You're somebody else now, and you don't remember being her. I'm not scared of _you_, but…" she trailed off, almost embarrassed. "I'm scared of what you can do."

Immediately, Revan felt her body trembling. Even if Mission's words were meant to be reassuring, they didn't sound it. Not to Revan. Immediately, Revan nodded. "I'm going to go and check that we're still on course." Her voice cracked, and she was certain the tears were building all over again. For such a powerful Jedi, such a powerful ex-Sith Lord, she was crying a lot lately. Maybe it was the shock.

Quickly, she moved herself out of the room she shared with Mission before anymore words could be exchanged. She passed the main room of the ship, her eyes cast downwards. It wasn't until her body slammed into something a whole hell of a lot harder than a person that she stopped.

Immediately, her gaze flashed upwards, and she saw HK standing in front of her. "Query: Master, have you lost your sense of sight?" he asked, and Revan shook her head. "Sorry, HK," she grumbled before skidding around him. She wasn't in the mood to listen to any of his "meatbag" statements. She padded down the corridor towards the cockpit. Her body was numb, and she felt a little more like an outsider on her own ship than she meant to. The moment she stepped inside, she froze. She should've known he would be here, and she didn't even think about it. Her eyes fell over his body, and her shoulders immediately slumped. This was a confrontation she was hoping to avoid, at least for a while.

He didn't speak, didn't even look at her, and Revan moved quietly towards the navigational charts. Her eyes fell over the locations and her fingers tapped some buttons. "When are we landing?" she asked, her voice stronger than she felt, at last. Carth's eyes raised, meeting hers. "Soon enough. I don't have an exact time."

The harshness in his voice surprised her, even though she shouldn't have let it. She knew that out of everybody, he was the most shocked, and the most dismal. "Alright," she said, turning away from him, the tears boiling all over again. She couldn't let him see her cry. If there was ever a good time to be trapped on a ship, it was not tonight. She moved towards the door, stopping as she reached it and turning back to look at him.

"We have to survive with one another for a little longer, Carth. I think the rest of the crew can feel the hostility, too. I'd appreciate it if you'd tone it down," she told him, her eyes turning cold as she looked at him. He stood up, then, turning to face her. "_You_ would appreciate it? Oh, that's good to know! I'd appreciate it if you hadn't _destroyed_ my planet _and_ my family. I guess we can't always get what we want."

The hurt pounded back, and in one motion, Revan turned away, all but running down the corridor to find sanctity elsewhere on the ship. More specifically, the cargo bay.

_Author's Note: I hope it was okay, read and review! Chapter two will be up soon hopefully. Thanks, guys!_

_-Shay._


	2. Wise Words

**Someday**

_A/N Chapter two finally. Sorry for the wait. Enjoy!_

Hiding out became so much easier once she had the actual ability to [i]hide[/i] from the others. They were all off sleeping, and nobody really checked the cargo bay anyways. Revan had a moment of peace, even if it was going to be short lived. At least she had the [i]moment[/i], and that was all that she needed. She just wanted to relax, to breathe for the time being, before anything else happened and sent her spiraling back into the infinite misery that seemed to haunt her.

Silently, she moved her hands up to her hair and tugged the elastic that was holding the neat, pleated braid in place, running her fingers through her kinky hair and letting it fall in the delicate waves down her back. Her blue eyes scanned the area, and with a quiet sigh, she found herself moving towards the storage containers. She plopped herself down atop of one and dropped her head down into her hands, her eyes closing tightly as the tears she had been trying to avoid all over again attempted to return. It was not allowed, she couldn't let the stupid things get the best of her. With a gentle sigh, she lifted her head, and nearly leapt out of her skin when she saw a figure standing in the doorway.

"You don't look so good," the old man's voice cut through the silence, and Revan breathed heavily once more. Jolee was standing there, examining her, and now that her eyes had adjusted, she could make out his figure.

"Understatement of the century," she groaned, bitterly. Instead of comforting her, Jolee simply chuckled. Revan's eyes snapped onto him, trying to find out what exactly was so funny about her pain. He looked at her, then, those wise old eyes of his too knowledgeable for his own good. Wonderful. He was about to throw in his own two cents.

"You know," he began, and Revan sighed. She wasn't in the mood for one of his "wise" tirades. "You're going to get through this just fine." That was unexpected. "You're a tough one, Revan." The casual use of her old name caused her to flinch, but he moved towards her, resting a hand upon her shoulder once he was close enough. "This crew wouldn't be together if it weren't for you. Trust me, Revan, we're lucky to have you."

A bitter laugh slipped through her full lips. "Tell that to Carth. He doesn't seem to think so."

The old man scoffed, as if that were an inconceivable concept. "Carth'll come around eventually. Right now, he's just dealing with the shock part. The rest of us were all wondering why you were so tough in the first place, and the ones who can use the Force were a little more skeptical. He just doesn't understand, and you've gotta understand how hard this is for him, too."

Revan's eyes flickered up to meet his, and she sighed. "When did you get so caring?" This time, Jolee laughed bitterly.

"Me? Well, let's just say I've got a good feeling this'll all be alright."

And just as sneaky and quiet as he entered, Jolee escaped to go back to bed. Maybe Revan was wrong in thinking that [i]everybody[/i] was so content and asleep. She remained on the storage container, pondering Jolee's words. Were things really going to be this easy? She had a feeling that now things had changed, more than she could have ever imagined. She was about to embark on an entirely new adventure, one called redemption. Redemption of her old reputation, the old Revan. She was a new person, she was not the same one she had been so many years ago. The person she had become wasn't cold and uncaring, she was kind hearted. For the most part, anyways.

Bastila had told her, back on Kashyyyk, that she was jealous. Jealous of the way that Revan held herself together, maintained the path of the light. She explained that she sometimes didn't have the same control that Revan had, and she wondered how Revan managed to keep herself so controlled. It was a question Revan actually had a hard time answering it.

Suddenly, an unexpected force rocked the ship, and Revan was sent off her cargo container. She leapt up and ran towards the cockpit. Time to put their troubles aside, she had a dark feeling that something worse was on its way.

The moment she stepped inside, she saw Carth pounding on the controls, and she examined him for just a fraction of a second. He was frantic. "What's going on?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from rising to uncontrolled levels.

"Three Sith fighters. Came out of nowhere! Get to the guns, we're gonna want to take them out before they report us, or blow us up!" Revan didn't hesitate, she bolted towards the guns and locked herself in position. Firing shot after shot, she took out the first two, but the third was evasive. It shot back at the Ebon Hawk and narrowly missed the position she was in. She gasped, her body freezing up for a moment. It was flying directly towards her, about to go straight over head. Well, then it was time to take it out, wasn't it? She fired upon the fighter, missing the first three shots.

"Come on!" she exclaimed as she fired six more shots, finally hitting the fighter. She hit it again, and again. And finally, a little ways over them, an explosion occurred. The ship rocked from the force of it, but Revan breathed out a sigh of relief. At least they were safe for the moment. She wondered how many people woke, though.

As she returned to the main room of the Ebon Hawk, she found most of the crew clustered about. Her eyes cast around to each of them, a little surprised they were all awake and so anxious. "What happened?" exclaimed poor Mission, who looked exhausted and overwrought with emotion. Revan sighed as footsteps approached and began explaining for her.

"Three Sith fighters attacked us." Carth's voice surprised her, and her head snapped in his direction, her blonde locks bobbing around her thanks to the force of the turn. He was closer than she anticipated, and she could smell him. It was intoxicating, and she had to step away. She couldn't be so near to him. Her eyes fell back towards Mission when the girl spoke out again.

"You mean… They know where we are?" she sounded terrified, and with good reason. For as tough as Mission was, she was still a kid, whether or not she wanted to admit that fact. Revan moved towards her, wrapping a tentative arm around her shoulders. After the earlier incident, she wasn't sure that was the best plan, but there she was doing exactly that.

"No," Carth replied, "Revan…"

The pain in his voice when he said her name forced Revan's eyes up towards him. "I destroyed them. I wouldn't let them go and tell anybody, are you kidding?" Revan smiled comfortingly down at Mission. She was trying to make the girl feel better. "I'm not going to let anybody hurt us, Mission. You know that."

Mission's eyes lit up, and a lump formed in Revan's chest. The girl was so forgiving, but she didn't know exactly how bad things were about to get. They had one last star map to find, and then they would be on route for the Star Forge.

What a terrifying concept, in the next week or so, they could be on their way to their deaths. And there would be nothing that Revan could do to stop it at this point. She hoped she could keep her promise, and that nobody would get hurt.

_A/N: Hope you enjoyed!_

_Things have been crazy lately, but I hope to have Chapter 3 up in the next few days, maybe Thursday. _

_Review if you please! (: _

_-Shay._


	3. Is this the End?

**Chapter Three**

_A/N I'm so sorry for my absence. Chapter three is here now, I hope you all enjoy! _

_-Shay_

XXX

Four long days had passed. They were so close they could almost taste it. The smell of fear radiated off the walls in the Ebon Hawk, and Revan found herself pacing once again. Her long hair was floating so lazily down her back, and her eyes were cast downwards. Was she bringing her friends to their deaths? Was this to be the end of everything? She sincerely hoped not. She didn't want to let them down, not now, not after everything they had gone through and everything that was coming. She needed them to believe in her, and most of all, she needed to believe in herself.

They would arrive at the Starforge in less than three days time, they would be there and welcoming everything they had feared with open arms. This was insanity. She could hardly breathe, it was a wonder she could pace so swiftly. She desperately longed for Bastila, but the woman had been kidnapped. Malak had taken her, and she had willingly given herself over so that Carth and Revan could escape and complete the task. Bastila wasn't dead, though. Revan would know if she was, she would just… know. Their bond allowed her that much.

Over the long weeks, she had learned to dull the pain of the bond when it struck her, but when they were nearer to each other, the feeling was harder to dull. Footsteps passing forced Revan's incandescent eyes upwards and she gazed towards the doorway. The footsteps came and went, and Revan returned to her pacing. She was uncomfortable in this situation, that much was for certain. She didn't want to be trapped like this, but there was nothing else she could do. There was nothing that she wanted to do, well no, that was a lie. She wanted to build some sort of time machine that would allow her to skip past all of this and witness the outcome.

It was in moments like this that she had always turned to Bastila, or to Carth. Out of the whole crew, those two were the ones that she was closest with, and the ones she cared most for. However, it was now in her time of need, that they were both gone. Carth was still refusing to speak with her, and Bastila was somewhere… Unknown. Revan wanted to find Bastila before the end of this, she didn't know what she would do without the Jedi. She wouldn't have gotten this far, that much was for certain.

The footsteps returned, and Revan paused in her steps, watching the door. Suddenly, a shadow darkened the room, and as the silhouette grew closer, she realized who it was. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Revan returned to her pacing. "Think I was somebody else?" the gruff voice asked, and Revan smiled. She shook her head as she moved.

After several moments of silence, she stopped and looked Canderous directly in the eye. "Do you think this is the end?" she asked, her voice meager and weak, it was the most she had shown of her fear yet. She didn't want to let the crew know just how scared she was, but she was indeed terrified. Canderous watched her for a moment, and Revan paused in her steps once more, watching him just as intently.

"No, I don't think this is the end. I think there's still plenty for us to do, but that means we've got to be willing to _try_."

Blinking in surprise, Revan found herself getting upset. She felt red hot fury gripping her insides, and she couldn't help it. The control she had spent so long working up was failing, and the anxiety and fear she had been feeling fueled her following actions.

"You think I'm not _trying_, Canderous? You think that I'm not trying to make sure every _second_ of every day that these people are safe? That _you _are safe? Oh, I'm trying. I'm trying my _damndest_, but that doesn't mean I can keep going! Half the crew is afraid of me because I was somebody I don't even remember being, the other half… They hate me for the same reason! I can't _do _this! I can't be a leader to a crew who's afraid of me, and who hates me!" she shouted, and immediately there were more footsteps, frantic footsteps, running towards the crew quarters.

Canderous shook his head. "I didn't say _you_ can't do this, Rev. I said _we_ have to try. And we're gonna win."


	4. Hatred

**Chapter Four**

_A/N I forgot to say in my last chapter thank you to my reviewers! You guys inspired me to keep going! So… Thank you! Xoxo._

_-Shay_

XXX

Revan stared at Canderous for a long while, her body language indicating her distress. Canderous simply stared back at her, until she broke her line of sight and recognized the figures bolting through the door. "What's wrong, what's going on?" Carth huffed, out of breath. He was looking at Canderous, not at Revan. He thought she was hurting Canderous.

"Nothin's goin' on. We were just having a chat. Soldier to soldier. Stop being so damned scared of her snapping, Republic. She's more stable than you are." With that statement, Canderous turned back to Revan, who's shocked face seemed to radiate more emotion than she had originally intended. "Don't look so surprised, Rev. I've got your back." He flashed her a brief grimace-like smile before walking out of the crew quarters, leaving her alone with Carth.

Immediately, Carth looked about ready to turn around and leave her there. "Carth!" she exclaimed, stepping forward and grabbing his shoulder. Her anger had simmered away, and a sudden bought of strength overcame her. "If we're going to do this together, I need everybody to trust me. I need _you_ to trust me. I can't do this alone, Carth. I need you. I need all of you. Especially right now."

Revan flicked her long, radiant hair over her shoulder and looked at him, searching for any sign that he was willing to forget about everything that happened and move on. The look on his face was stony, hard. There wasn't a chance in hell. "Please, Carth, I need you to help me with this." He shook his head and then sighed, staring down at the floor instead of her face. She attempted to catch his eye once more, tried looking at him, but he refused, and she was trapped staring at his unintelligible facial features. It was driving her mad. She needed him, and he was refusing. After all of this, after empty promises to care for her, he was just going to forget it had ever happened and go on as if he had never really met her. "Please, Carth," she repeated, and finally, he looked up to her.

The look on his face wasn't one she had wanted to see. The stony features and the icy tone shot shivers up her spine. This wasn't _her _Carth, in fact, it was this Carth that was making her realize that her Flyboy could very well be gone forever. "I'll help you, but I won't trust you, Revan. You destroyed my home. Killed my family. You _ruined_ my life."

Immediately, her heart shattered. "I did not! I'm not… I mean I am, but I'm—" Carth shook his head, and Revan knew the battle was lost before he even opened his mouth. She could see it in his face. "I'm not the person who did that to them, to you. Carth, please, I—"

"You gave the order, Revan. You killed millions. I just… I need to think. I need time. You need to give me time. Give me _space_, because you're sure as hell not doing it now. And what you're doing now… it's just making me hate you more."

Hate her? "You hate me?" she whispered, stunned. Revan took a step back.

"Revan, no, I mean I—"

"That's one thing you can't take back, Carth. I can forgive a lot, but hate, passion, those things are what caused me to destroy your planet in the first place. It's not fair for you to turn that on me. Get out." It was her turn, she was cold, she was angry, and she was hurt. She wanted to hurt him the same way, but after a moment's consideration she realized she already had. Maybe it wasn't _her_ specifically, but the first version of her had definitely done things to deserve the hatred. Carth didn't say another word, he simply turned from the room and walked out, leaving Revan to her despair.

This was the reason that love was forbidden by the Jedi. It was a torture device, more-so than anything Revan had ever experienced or seen before. When Carth had been in that holding cell, when Saul Karath had used him to get information, Revan had been so close to just giving in. She needed him to be okay, and his cries of pain had almost been too much for her. She couldn't breathe in those moments, much like she couldn't breathe now. Carth tortured her in ways it could never be understood.

A whirring sound moved past the door, and finally, after so long, so many days, Revan found herself alone. Completely alone, in solitude with nobody to bother her. She was certain that Carth would be telling people of her melt down with Canderous, and that they wouldn't bother her for the hours to come. So she dropped herself to the floor, crossed her legs, closed her eyes, and began to meditate.

XXX

Hours passed, and each minute she found herself becoming more and more rejuvenated. This was what she had needed, what she had longed for, and she was grateful to have the time to do it. Until the ship rumbled and thudded. Immediately, she knew that they had a problem. She jumped up without a second thought and ran down the corridor. Mission and Zaalbar were the first two she saw. "What's going on?" she asked as the ship was tossed aside once more. Mission regained her balance, using Big Z to help her. "I'm not sure! I mean, there's been some interference for a while, but Carth said not to bother you…"

Revan froze. "Carth told you not to tell me?" Mission's guilt showed in her face. "I can't deal with this now. I'm going to find out what's going on!" Revan dashed down the hall before the ship could give another jerk. She stepped into the cockpit and saw Carth struggling with the controls. Immediately, she plopped herself down in the co-pilot's chair and began tapping different functions. "What's going on?" she asked, a determined tone in her voice.

"There's some kind of gravitational pull. It's dragging us in, I don't think we have a choice, we're going to have to let it. The ship doesn't have the kind of power we would need to escape it." Oh, how lovely. Revan grumbled, frustrated.

"Then take us down, Flyboy. I'm not letting my ship get torn to shreds because I was too damn stubborn to land on some planet."


	5. Trials

**Chapter Five**

_A/N : I know it's taken me a long time to get this up, and I sincerely hope people are still interested in the story I still have going. Please read and review, as always, you are my inspiration!_

XXX

The landing had not been Carth's best, but what they saw when the exited the Ebon Hawk by far made up for it. "Woah…" Mission breathed as she looked at the beautiful, tropical planet. "It's beautiful." Revan couldn't help but smile when she looked over at Mission. She was right, it _was_ beautiful, there was nothing to question that. But there was something about the planet that rattled Revan. Déjà vu swirled around her, and she was positive she had been there before.

"It's pretty amazing, hey?" Revan asked, resting a kind hand on the young girl's shoulder. It was more than that, it was spectacular.

"Hate to interrupt, but we still need to fix the Hawk so we can get off this planet." Revan and Mission's eyes flickered for a split second in the direction of the pilot. Simultaneously, the two women let out small sighs. "I sort of wish we didn't," Mission whispered in a low enough voice that Carth couldn't possibly have heart. Revan did, though, and she smiled at the young girl.

Turning to face Carth, Revan crossed her arms over her chest. "Alright Carth, what do we need?"

He listed off a couple things. Odds and ends that they would need here and there. Revan sighed, suddenly this planet didn't hold such grand excitement as she had originally thought it did. It seemed pretty empty, the chances of finding anything here were slim to null.

"And we're going to want to find it pretty quickly so we can get back to-" Revan shoved him out of the way and made to reach for her lightsaber. A Duros had appeared out of nowhere.

"Stop, stop!" he exclaimed. "I'm not here to fight!" After a moment, Revan nodded. "I'm sorry," she said, removing her hand from the place where her formidable weapon stayed. "We are new here. Where are we, exactly?"

The Duros took a moment, but at last decided they weren't going to try and harm him. "A place where nothing good happens." For some reason, Revan got the idea that Duros were all pretty pessimistic beings. "You must get away, before-"

From the top of the beach, a battle cry was heard, and before Revan could make to move the Duros, he had run to a hiding place. Revan and the rest of her crew leapt into action. The aliens they fought were like nothing she had ever seen before. She swung her lightsaber and hacked at them as they attacked. "Revan!" Mission's voice cried, and Revan made to turn right as a blade began to descend on her. She slammed her lightsaber against the weapon and quickly used the force to send the alien flying backwards. Sucking in a deep breath, she leapt forwards and finished the creature off with one foul swoop, once again feeling the sickening déjà vu creeping up on her.

She switched off her lightsaber and the Duros came out of hiding once more. "Thank you for killing those murderous beasts!" he exclaimed, and Revan frowned, but nodded. "They were hunting us, trying to kill my crew and I."

"We're looking for some parts to fix our ship, is there anything around here that you know of?"

The Duros took a moment, but at last shook his head. He hesitated again. "Actually yes, there is one place that may have what you are looking for. The One and his tribe, they tore pieces out of our own ship. There is no repairing it. If you can, once you find what you need, transport us to somewhere safe."

Revan couldn't promise that, and the looks from the rest of her crew was supporting her thoughts. She sighed, however, and nodded. "We will ensure you're safety as long as we can get our ship off the ground."

She refused to give her word.

XXX

A while later, Revan, Canderous and Jolee had taken off to try and find The One. It had been _hours_, and Mission Vao was beginning to find herself succumbing to boredom. The Duros that they had found had a friend, and the two of them were chatting in their language over on the side. "Hey! Is this water safe?" Mission asked, looking at the Duros. They had been there longer. The first shrugged, and the second replied.

"As safe as any water, I suppose," he said. Mission took that as an A-Okay.

"Hey Big Z, feel like taking a bath?" she asked, getting an immediate and unpleasant growl from Zaalbar. Mission rolled her eyes. "Well does _anybody_ want to come swimming? It's hot, and I'm bored."

Junani stepped forward. "I agree, the heat is a bit much, even for me. I am not a swimmer, but I will come stand in the water."

Mission thought for a moment, then shrugged. That was the best she was going to get. She stepped into the water, cautiously moving about, ensuring that she wasn't going to wind up with gilled feet or anything crazy like that, before moving in a bit deeper.

"Mission, be careful! You don't know what's _in _the water!" Carth scolded, and Mission scowled, crossing her arms.

"You're not my father, Carth!" she shouted back at him, and Carth shook his head, knowing all too well where this argument was about to lead. He turned back to the direction he was facing, which was pointing to the path where Revan and her group would most likely be arriving through.

Mission took a few more steps, and then sunk. She screamed a piercing scream, trying to writhe her way out of the hole she had fallen into. "Help me!" she shouted. Juhani rushed in, immediately followed by Zaalbar and Carth. Zaalbar tugged Mission out of the hole and rested her on the beach. 

"Now do you see why I said that?" Carth snapped, and Mission frowned a bit. "I'm sorry!" she gasped out, shocked by how venomous his statement had been. "I didn't expect there to be some big damn hole in the middle of the ocean!"

"That's because you didn't _think_. You don't know what else is in there, Mission! You're lucky all you did was scrape your legs up!"

Mission felt her eyes welling. She stood up, shoving Zaalbar off her. "I'm fine," she snapped, storming towards the ship. She stopped, though, and bolted in the direction of the path instead.

"Mission!" Carth called. He began to rush after her, but stopped when he saw Revan and the others returning.

She did not look happy.

"Well, I got our parts," Revan said, handing a rucksack to Carth without really paying attention to him.

"That's great!" Mission exclaimed, happily.

"Yeah, but we still can't get off this planet. There's… There's a temple."

Juhani's eyes widened. "Is it the…"

Jolee stopped her. "It's the one at the top of the hill."

Revan nodded. "And I have to go in there."

"But… There are enormous dark side currents coming off of that temple." Juhani seemed nervous, and Revan nodded once more in confirmation. Revan's face didn't show the nerves that she was feeling.

Carth was the one, surprisingly, who stepped forwards. "You're not going in there alone!"

"And who's going to come with me, Carth? You? You'd be dead in an instant if what I think is in there is actually in there. It's probably packed to the rim with dark Jedi. We were told that even Malak has been there once and…" She cut herself off.

"And you." Carth finished. Revan didn't say a word, she couldn't.

"I'm going with you," Juhani said, determination in her voice.

"No, Juhani it's not safe-"

"I'm going too."

"Jolee, please it's-"

"It'll be a hell of a lot safer with us three than with anybody else – no offense to anybody else. We're your best bets."

Revan stared at the group, unnerved by all of this. She didn't want to go in there, but it was the only way. The disruptor field [i]had[/i] to be shut down or else they weren't going anywhere.

"Alright. Let's be ready to go within the hour."


	6. Tribulations

**Chapter Six**

XXX

It was getting dark, and the darkness was torture to Mission. She sat in front of the small fire that they had built, her eyes cast into the flames, examining the flickering beauty of the deadly enchantment. They still had no word, and it wasn't until they heard a ship roaring to life and zooming away that they paid any attention to anything. Mission gasped at the noise, Carth leapt up, and Zaalbar moved instantaneously to his Twi'lek friend's side.

"What was that?" the little blue Twi'lek gasped. Carth shook his head, and Zaalbar growled something low. Mission sighed. "I know _what_ it was, Big Z. But… how, and why?" Once again, Zaalbar growled. "Do you think they abandoned us?" The wookie fell silent, and Mission herself fell into an uneasy silence. They waited, darkness growing nearer until at last they heard footsteps. Everybody leapt to their feet, prepared for either their friends or anything else. They weren't quite sure what was coming, but they knew it was going to be dangerous. Jolee and Juhani came down first, heads tipped. They didn't look at the group, or each other. Neither spoke a word, they simply moved aside, and slowly, the group looked up once more to see an exhausted and physically aching Revan move down the pathway.

"You're back!" Carth exclaimed, running forwards. "What happened? Where's Bastila? What was going on inside that temple?" The agitation in his voice egged the silence from the trio on further. Revan was the first to look up from the sandy beach of the tropical paradise. Her eyes cast towards Carth's, her long, auburn curls were tumbling from the neatly tied ponytail she usually kept. Her big, green eyes were cast across towards Carth. Revan's chest rose and fell gracefully, but in frantic leaps. She was terrified, it was clear, but her strength shone through. Not a word did she speak, not for several moments. After a long minute, maybe more, Revan at last spoke.

"Bastila is gone. She has turned to the dark side." Her voice held strong, but the wavering feeling inside of her, as if she herself didn't believe it, was constant. Revan focused on everybody's faces. Everybody's except Carth. She knew how he would feel, she could hear it in every fiber of her being. She could feel it echoing inside of her. The bitter words that he would speak, the angry tones. He would be furious, blame Revan. She would be the scapegoat, the dog that got kicked. She would be the gizka they had carried for so long, playing with and yelling at for no reason. No. She refused to look at that expression, that fury.

For a moment, all was silent. The wind blew their hair and fur around, and Revan smelled the salty air. She longed to crawl into bed, forget this awful day for just one night. Pain sliced through her body like a knife, and she was far too drained to do anything about it. Carth spoke, then. "Wait… Bastila? The dark side? No! How could this happen?" Carth gasped. Revan's eyes cast towards him at last, surprised she hadn't heard something that accused her of being the reason. At least, she hadn't heard anything _yet_.

Jolee spoke up, very nearly cutting Carth off and saving Revan from having to relive the painful experience from earlier verbally. "Bastila was always in danger of leaning towards the dark side, Carth. She was strong, yes, but she was always impatient and headstrong. Malak knew that, and he preyed upon her weaknesses." Revan flinched at the tone when Jolee said "weaknesses".

Did Revan, herself, have the same weaknesses? Was she going to have troubles in the future? She was suddenly frightened by the idea, unsure of what was to come. If Bastila, one who Revan had leaned on in times of need, was so quick to turn, what about Revan? One who had been there, knew the pull and the touch. The power and the passion. What would happen to her if she was weak, had a moment of weakness? Terror began to wrap itself around Revan's heart, and she could do nothing more than stand there, hoping for somebody to speak again. Jolee spoke again.

"This planet is tainted and evil. The temple and the Star Forge have twisted it, changed it, just as Malak has twisted Bastila into a servant of the Sith."

Those words struck a chord in Revan once more, and she gulped back her fear, her anxiety. She hoped that Jolee or Juhani wouldn't feel the desire to reach out, try to touch her with the Force and find out if she was alright. She didn't need their worry mingling with her own. So, she attempted to keep focus on the conversation, no matter how painful it truly was. "We can still save her." There was a certain desperation mingling in Revan's voice, one that she hadn't anticipated. The group looked at her, sympathy in their eyes.

Jolee, as always, was the one to take the wheel on this. He knew more about the situation at hand, anyways. "Malak's hold on her is strong, and it will be hard for her to break free… Especially due to her long standing association with you. You must remember that when the bond was forged between you two, and how it was forged by her reaching into you. Touching your memories, and rekindling the spark of life left within you. It was by this that she touched the darkness inside of you, however."

Revan's jaw fell slightly ajar. She had felt it, that she was partially responsible, but she hadn't known it was to this extent. Carth spoke next. "But… There's still hope for her, right? I mean we can still save her?" He sounded as nervous as Revan felt. "I mean…" Carth began again. "Revan rejected the dark side, so why can't Bastila?"

Revan's eyes snapped in Carth's direction. Did he just say… It took her a moment to realize that that statement, that hopeful, hopeful statement, had been directed at Revan, herself. Clearing her throat, Revan took a moment to think, choose her words carefully. "It will be hard, but we'll try."

That sounded like the half-hearted promise she had given to the Duros earlier that day, and she was sure that the crew knew it, too. However they didn't say anything, they knew it was better than nothing at this point. They all knew it, and Revan knew that returning Bastila from the dark side would be far more difficult than anybody had really pointed out. Everybody was so focused on the hope that she could come back, nobody thought about how it would feel to her. They had encountered ex-Sith in the past, Carth's own son being one of them. Those things.. They didn't turn out well all the time. In the case of Dustil, it had taken a lot more convincing than either Carth or Revan would've liked to get him back.

Jolee, of course, had to say something to finish the conversation, or start a new one at least. "I must say it's good to have you with us, my dear." Revan looked at him, understanding the statement was for her. "For a minute there I thought you might decide…. Well, never mind what I thought. It's not important now."

Carth leapt in, and Revan flinched back, falling silent once more and allowing those around her to speak freely about the incident that had happened back at the temple, the one that had – admittedly – been a far more difficult choice than Revan would have liked.

"Decide? Decide what exactly?" Carth snapped, more worried than anything else.

Juhani, for the first time since their arrival back at camp, spoke. "Bastila tried to lure her to the dark side with the promise of Revan's heritage being returned. She failed."

Carth's eyes widened, and a certain pride erupted from them. Admittedly, Revan was the tiniest bit offended by the look of surprise, as well, and the tone in his voice. But the pride… That was what sang through. "So… So you did it." Revan nodded. "You did it once and for all, you turned against your past. Turned against the dark side." For the first time in what seemed like years, Revan watched as a smile began to form on Carth's lips. "I knew it… I knew that she, she couldn't defeat you I just… I just knew it." They all knew which "she" Carth was talking about. Revan. The true Revan, the dark, twisted Sith Lord. Revan had turned against that version of her, and was honestly proud of herself for doing so.

"Do you remember when I said you would have to make a choice? That you would be tested?" Revan looked at him, nodding carefully. "Well.. I think that was it. It was. I can feel it." The pride in his voice, and eyes, still radiated, and Revan drank in freely from the overwhelming beauty of his face. "It couldn't have been easy, but… I'm proud of you."

She knew that last part already, but hearing it from him? Knowing what he felt? That felt better than anything else in the world. She couldn't say anything back, she just offered a small smile. It had been the most difficult choice of her life, but in the end, she wondered – secretly – if it was really all that difficult. Up there on the temple's precipice, she remembered hearing Bastila's offer, contemplating it, and then she remembered hearing Carth's voice in her head.

"_I think I could love you."_

That, somehow, had kept her from turning herself over and giving up completely, especially when it felt like all else was lost. Maybe, just maybe, there was still that hope for the two of them. After another long few minutes of silence, the group glanced around at each other. Revan ached, she was tired, and she just wanted to rest. Her eyes cast in Carth's direction for a split moment more, before turning away again.

"Do you think…" Carth began, sighing. "Do you think we could go talk? Privately?"

Revan was about to answer when Mission scoffed from the side. "Yeah, talk. Sure, Carth, I'm _sure_ that's what you wanna do."

Both Revan and Carth flushed, but Carth ignored Mission's outburst. "Please."

Revan nodded, beginning to walk back to the Ebon Hawk. It was a miracle her legs still worked, what with the agony she had put them through in the last few days. They made their way to Revan's quarters, and she shut the door, turning around once more. Suddenly, Carth's arms were wrapped around her. Revan gasped, quietly, stunned by the sudden movement. "I was afraid I was going to lose you, but I just knew you could make it through that. I knew you would come back to me."

For a moment, Revan was unsure what to say, and so she just smiled. "So, so you don't hate me then?" she asked, feeling as nervous as a child asking if their parent was still angry. Only probably far more so.

"No, I don't hate you. I'm not sure I have since I found out. I… well, I love you. More than I thought I ever could. So hate you? No."

Revan smiled, then, leaning forward and pressing her lips against his. "I love you too," she whispered, finally pulling up for air. This. This was why she had come back, why she had rejected Bastila. It was all for this moment. And every single second was worth it.

XXX

_A/N Hope you enjoyed! Chapter seven coming soon! Read and review please and thanks (: _

_-Shay. _


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